Embracing Authenticity and Its Impact on Relationships

Living authentically isn’t a one-time decision—it’s an ongoing commitment to aligning our actions with our values and our truth. It’s freeing, but it also forces us to confront dynamics in our lives that might no longer serve us. Sometimes, that means loss. Sometimes, that means growth. Always, it means change.

This past year has brought its fair share of challenges as I’ve leaned into authenticity. It’s been both empowering and heartbreaking. Today, I want to share some personal experiences to highlight the highs and lows of this journey. My hope is that these reflections offer comfort and insight for anyone navigating similar paths.

Showing Up When It Is The Hardest
Last year, Sharon’s mum was in palliative care, and we made the decision to ensure she was never alone. We took shifts sitting with her, even if it meant just watching her sleep. For us, this wasn’t about practicality—it was about living in alignment with our values of care, compassion, and family.

What made this decision particularly poignant was the complex relationship Sharon had with her mum. Their bond wasn’t an easy one, filled with layers of past hurt and unresolved emotions. Yet, Sharon chose to put all of that aside during this time. She recognized that showing up wasn’t just about her mum; it was about staying true to the person Sharon wants to be. It was about offering grace, even when it wasn’t always reciprocated.

In her mum’s most vulnerable moments, Sharon’s presence became a testament to forgiveness and resilience. It wasn’t about rewriting the past but about showing compassion in the present. Part of this process also meant acknowledging that some issues from their past would never be resolved. Sharon realized that holding onto those unresolved feelings wouldn’t bring the closure she wanted. Instead, she made the choice to let go of the need for resolution and focus on what she could offer in the moment: love, support, and kindness.

This experience reaffirmed for us that authenticity means living out your values—even when it’s hard, even when it might stir up old pain. It was a powerful reminder that the way we show up for others says so much about who we are.

Some family members didn’t understand. They laughed and questioned why we would spend so much time “just sitting around.” But their judgment didn’t matter because we knew in our hearts that we were doing what felt right. That’s the thing about living authentically: not everyone will get it. But you’re not living for them. You’re living for you.

The Pain of Losing Relationships
Not all relationships survive authenticity—and that’s okay, even when it’s painful. This year, Sharon’s relationship with her twin brother fractured. He’s been unwilling to take responsibility for his behaviours that negatively impact others, and his insecurity around our relationship versus his own left a gaping divide.

He has never been able to build a long-term healthy relationship, and the fact that Sharon has exactly that seemed to bother him deeply. He kept searching for holes to poke in our relationship, projecting his frustrations outward. In doing so, he directed much of his blame toward me, accusing me of being the reason Sharon had changed.

But the truth is, the only thing that changed with Sharon is that she started doing what was best for her and what made her happy. She began putting herself first, prioritising her needs over the endless expectations of others. This shift wasn’t about me; it was about her stepping into her authentic self and recognising her right to live a fulfilled life. It’s a painful reality when someone you love can’t celebrate your growth because it forces them to confront their own insecurities.

This wasn’t an easy loss. Family ties run deep, and letting go feels counterintuitive. But we’ve realized that maintaining connections at the expense of our peace and integrity isn’t worth it. It’s not about cutting people off; it’s about setting boundaries and protecting your energy when others refuse to grow alongside you.

Walking Away to Walk My Talk
I’ve also made some hard choices in my professional life this year. I stepped away from a role and a company I loved because I finally accepted that they didn’t love me back. For so long, I stayed in spaces where I wasn’t valued because I believed I could prove my worth by being kind, hardworking, and endlessly accommodating.

I have a repeating pattern in my life of wanting to belong and to fit in. I was never a popular kid and always felt like an outsider. So when I am part of a company or group, I will go over and above to demonstrate value and be needed—someone that people want around because I am useful.

Building strong connections and relationships is my superpower, but it is also my kryptonite. I give away all of myself in an effort to keep the other person happy so I will be kept around. And when the relationship changes, I am always devastated and destroyed because I was fighting so hard to keep it.

I lose sight of my own worth and value and accept crumbs, making it okay for everyone. This pattern has played out many times in my life, and leaving this job was an essential step toward breaking it. I’ve realized that staying in spaces that don’t value me isn’t aligned with who I am or the work I want to do. If I’m going to guide others to own their worth, I have to model that for myself first. Walking away wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

Changing Relationships with a Teenager
One of the hardest parts of this journey has been watching our relationship with our niece change. She’s started following in her parents’ footsteps, avoiding accountability and resisting honest conversations. When we approach her from a place of love, she meets us with pushback, avoidance, and, sadly, dishonesty.

We love her dearly and will always 100% be there for her when the shit hits the fan. And when it does, we’ll show up with love and grace—because that’s who we are—not with an “I told you so.”

We also understand that as she grows into adulthood, she naturally wants to spend more time outside the family we’ve created. And that’s okay. What has caused us pain, however, is the lack of openness and honesty in her interactions with us. There’s been a tendency to point outward for blame and avoid owning anything herself. It’s hard to watch someone you care about repeat patterns you’ve worked hard to break yourself.

While this distance has been heartbreaking, we’ve had to accept that her journey is hers to navigate. As much as we wish she could see the freedom that comes from living authentically, we know that she must come to that realization in her own time.

The Constant Choice
Living authentically reminds me of living in sobriety: it’s a daily, conscious choice. You can take the harder, more authentic road, or you can go with the flow and avoid the discomfort of change. But over time, that avoidance builds up, and eventually, the discomfort of staying the same becomes greater than the discomfort of doing the hard things.

This year has felt like a year of losses on many levels. But it’s also been an incredibly empowering year of resilience. We’ve found our true strength as a team and learned to navigate change and the roller coaster of life with grace and kindness—for ourselves and even for those who are no longer part of the journey, whether through choices they’ve made or choices we’ve made about what we will accept.

Finding Positives Amid the Challenges
Despite the challenges, this year has brought so many positives. We have grown together both as a couple and as individuals. We see each other clearly and are able to show up for each other without question. We can support each other because we are coming from a place of authentically living with our values. We can also have hard conversations with each other and challenge each other to keep living in alignment.

We’ve also developed deeper connections with other family members by being intentional in creating time and space and investing in those relationships. These connections have become a source of immense joy and fulfillment.

Additionally, we’ve become so clear on what a happy, successful life looks like for us—and spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with acquiring material wealth. We are content to sit in our little bubble and say no to things that do not serve us.

There are so many positives with embracing this change. Even the losses we’ve experienced can be reframed as positives, and we hold hope that one day change might come. But we’ve also learned to understand that is outside of our control, and that’s okay.

Closing Thoughts
Living authentically is a journey of liberation, but it’s also a journey of loss. Some relationships won’t survive. Some will transform. And some will flourish in ways you never expected. The key is staying committed to your truth and remembering that the people and situations meant for you will align with who you truly are.

What relationships have shifted in your life as you’ve embraced authenticity? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Your stories inspire me and others in this community. Feel free to share in the comments or reach out directly.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Until next time, stay true to yourself and remember to navigate life with grace and courage